Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Why Don't I Spend Time With God?



"I love you God, and I worship you", "I need you and I'm desperate for you Lord", I would say. One hearing me say those things, might think "Wow, she really loves the Lord"!, but they just didn't know the emptiness behind those words and that love was the furthest thing I was displaying before the Lord. I wanted to and knew I should have been spending time with God, praying, and reading the Word. I would always feel God tugging on my heart, beckoning me to come away with him, but I just wouldn't do it. I would say I'm gonna do it later, but later would never come. I'd instead get busy with doing other meaningless things, such as watching my favorite t.v. shows, browsing various social media sites, finding something to eat/snack on when I wasn't hungry(naturally that is), etc.. I'd be too tired, too busy, or reason I can't do it because the kids are awake or will wake up, and will be a distraction. All Excuses. When I did make an attempt at spending time with God, the enemy would fill my head with guilt and condemnation, saying "You're not praying right", "You sound pitiful, knowing you haven't been praying/reading your Word all this time", "You ain't gonna be able to understand the Word, when you're so out of tune with God", "He doesn't love you, and will reject you because you ignored him before", and more LIES, LIES, and LIES.  


To make myself feel less guilty and more like a "good Christian", I would watch preaching/teaching of the Word on YouTube, listen to praise and worship songs, and read great spiritual articles on various Christian blogs. I would buy and read books on Christian Living and try to live vicariously through others who had a true relationship with the Lord. I'd feel good at the moment, like I was really connected to God and had a true relationship with him, which was nothing but a fantasy. At the end of the day I would feel like a glass half empty, and spiritually parched and starving. I was settling for a "quick fix", and not a steady faith. It came to the point where the Lord totally began to wreck my heart! All I thought I knew I began to question, what I was confident in I doubted, and what I thought use to satisfy me, no longer was my delight. I prayed and sought him, asking "What is wrong with me"?, "I really do love you Lord and desire you, but why am I not spending time with you as I should"?  I was at the place where I was fed up with the crumbs I had been snacking on here and there, and day in and day out still not fulfilled. I cried out to the Lord, "God, I need you more than anything"!, "I desire to have a true relationship with you, and I'm desperate for you". I said "God, there has got to be more than this", "I want more of you and to be like you, and this time I won't stop at anything until I obtain just that". While searching the Internet on this subject, I came across a article on a blog that was talking about how we make things as idols and "gods". The Lord then led me to the scripture in Matthew 6:21  "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also"

The answer to my question "Why am I not spending time with the Lord"?, became clear as day to me. I didn't really desire to spend time with him, cultivate a true relationship with him, because he was not where my treasure was, therefore my heart's desire wasn't after him. That word treasure means, something you value, spend your energies in, and deem most precious and top priority. I then began to allow the light of his Word to search me and I asked myself "What is it that I am spending my energy/time in the most, that I value more than God"? After doing a #heartcheck, I looked up and found my eyes staring at my treasures, the t.v., my computer, and cell phone. That was it, entertainment! I spent most of the day everyday, either surfing the t.v. channels, on my phone scrolling through my timeline on various social media sites, or aimlessly surfing the web. I had made those sources of entertainment my "god", my treasure, my top priority. I then confessed my sin, repented, and made the decision to make spending time with God my top priority. I cannot tell you how much pure bliss I have been experiencing, every since I became intentional and committed to spending time with God everyday (Which was a few weeks ago, and yes honey I don't mind being transparent and putting myself on blast!


Everyday gets sweeter and sweeter, and he shows me himself more and more! It is true that if you ask you shall receive, seek you shall find, and knock the door shall be opened unto you! If  you draw near unto him, he will draw near unto you, but you have to come to him. He will not force himself on you. He will lovingly call out to you, and invite you to dine with him. It's ultimately up to you to accept his invitation or stand him up. I encourage you not to choose the latter. My sisters, if you can relate to my testimony I encourage you to do a #heartcheck, and find out what are you treasuring more than sweet fellowship with God. Once you do, confess and repent of it, and pursue spending time with God everyday!

I love you all, but God loves you so much more!
Your Sister~Jassmine~A Dear Daughter of The King!

 
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Friday, August 23, 2013

Part 2: Getting What You Desire, When He Desires

 




Hey, Hey, Hey my sisters in Christ! I am delighted to get into this Word some more with you all, and continue conforming and transforming to a true dear daughter of the King. Being a true dear daughter of the King, our desires should mirror God's. The only way that can be accomplished, is by daily looking into the light and mirror of God's Word. For it is in God's Word the true reflection of us is revealed. So you've examined the desires of your heart by the light of God's Word, it lines up with his desire, will, and good pleasure, and you still don't have them or see them. You're now stuck asking "When will I see my desire fulfilled"? Just as I last stated in part 1's post, he promised to give you the desires, but he did not say when and that can sometimes be frustrating. If you focus on your emotions of frustration, then you will allow it to turn into the 3 D's of Doom:Discontentment, Discouragement, and Doubt. If you let this rule you, and steal your focus you'll pursue after your desire and try to make it come to pass by your own strength and hands. Let me tell you from experience ladies, this will only get you in a world of unnecessary stress and trouble, and won't bring that thing you so earnestly desire faster to you. As true dear daughters of the king, if we are delighting in him by being in his presence daily, reading/studying/meditating upon his Word, obeying his Word, communicating with him daily in prayer, then we will take pleasure in everything God does including his divine providence. 

Let's go to the next scripture in that same chapter of Psalm 37 verse 5,  to see how we as daughters of the king should handle waiting on our desire to be fulfilled. The verse says "Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass". That word Commit in the original Hebrew language is "galal", which means to roll. The word Way in the original Hebrew language is "derek" means one's course of life, every event, action, direction, future, everything. Now before you all say "Wow Jassmine, now I don't understand all that and you're going too deep", let me explain it further because it really brings this scripture to it's full meaning. It's always good when studying the bible to define the words in the text, because then you find the true meaning of it and it means so much more to you. So let's now say the scripture over now that we've defined the words. Roll thy course of life unto the Lord. You see how much more clearer that is to look at it that way? We are to roll over, give over, and entrust, every part, section, detail, care of life to the Lord. So ladies roll all that worry and anxiety off of you, over when you will see that desire take place in your life and give it to the Lord. Now it's not enough to roll or give it over to the Lord, but when we do so we have to do as the scripture says and trust also in him. This means we have to take full confidence and belief in him, to his divine and perfect care and guidance, that all is well that God does. He has the road map of our life already perfectly planned, and knows when we are to receive that desire he desires to give us. Once we do so we can rest in the latter promise of the scripture that he SHALL bring it to pass, meaning he will do it and bring it about according to his perfect will, purpose, and pleasure! Pursue, follow, and trust Christ ladies, and you'll have your desires when he desires! 

I love you all, but God loves you so much more!
Your Sister~Jassmine~A Dear Daughter of The King!
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Getting What You Desire, How He Desires




 A lot of us myself included has desired and some of us still do have desires of many things, such as a husband, nice car, home, kids, successful career and/or ministry, etc....but we never see them fulfilled. The scripture "Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart" in Proverbs 37:4 we've heard, read, and quote it like we wrote it ourselves. The problem comes for most of us, is that we normally zone in on that latter part to justify us receiving our desire. "God, you know I desire x, y, and z, and you said in your Word that you would give me the desires of my heart". "So I believe and stand on your Word and receive x, y, and z in Jesus name, Amen". Does or has anyone's prayer sounded like this? I'll be the first to raise my hand, and admit to doing this ignorantly and foolishly many times before. I've stumbled with this so many times before, and know what comes next just like the plot in a predictable movie. We don't see that desire fulfilled after praying, and then the 3 D's of Doom start to set in I like to call:Discontentment, Discouragement, and Doubt. We then put the blame on God, saying "Lord, you said you would give it, so why don't I have it? We forget all about the instruction that must proceed first before having the hope of the latter promise. Let's look at that instruction "Delight thyself also in the Lord" a little closer so we can get some answers, and calm down you all that are being bombarded by the 3 D's of Doom which may make you jump ahead of God. We definitely don't want to do that. The word delight means to be happy, glad, or pleased, or to take great pleasure or satisfaction in or about something or someone. So the scripture is telling us, if we are to receive the desires of our heart we must first be happy, glad, and pleased in the Lord, take great pleasure and satisfaction in him. What am I saying? We must be pleased with the things he is pleased with, satisfied in who he is, and our heart's affections should be inclined towards him. When we position ourselves in this manner our desires are gonna then begin to conform and line up with his divine will in what pleases, satisfies, and makes Him happy, and then he will gladly give us the desires of our heart.


Well, I hear you saying "How do I know what pleases him and satisfies him?  "How do I know for certain if what I'm desiring is in his will"?, because I'm tired of racking my brain, energies, and nerves, guessing if it's in his will for me to have x, y, and z? I hear you, I hear you my sister! The answer is by getting to know him intimately and personally, which is done by reading/studying/meditating in his Word and staying in communication in prayer to him. I know you're like "I think I'm already doing that", or "Really? This is all I need to do"? Yes, that is all you need to do girlfriend, but not all inconsistently, hit and miss, and when you get good and ready. It don't and won't definitely work like that honey.  It's just like with a natural relationship with a person, the more time you talk to them and they talk to you, you spend time with them, you find out more and more about their character, personality, like, dislikes, interests, goals, plans, etc... and as time goes on you don't have to guess where you two should hang out together, eat at, do together, etc.. because you have come to know that person intimately and personally. The same with God, once we get in his Word and communicate with him through prayer DAILY & CONSISTENTLY, we learn more and more about his character, nature, likes, dislikes, desires and plans for us, till we don't have to guess if something is in his will or whether it glorifies him or not, but we'll confidently know because we faithfully know him. Are we getting the bigger picture here ladies? So when you desire to have something or someone, make sure your heart's desires are what he desires. #HeartCheck! The bible says in Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also". To find out if your desires are right and in line with God, check that heart! If it does line up with him you can be sure that he will give those desires to you, and it will be in his timing. The scripture says he will give them to you, but it does not say when.........Which I will be posting a part 2 to this later, addressing the aftermath of checking the heart concerning your desire, and being stuck with the question "Why haven't I received what I desired yet"? So come back later and let's continue this journey to living in our true identities, of being daughters of the King!

I love you all, but God loves you so much more!
Your Sister~Jassmine~A Dear Daughter Of The King
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